Introspective tv documentaries, don't you just love them? As they inject a woeful selection of craptastic tv, that you've been trying to forget for years, in to your unwilling mind? No, I thought not. But this showed promise. It could have been a involving dissection of why tv audiences won't put up with light entertainment anymore. It could have examined why viewers now shun what they once loved. Ah, but surely it's easier just to package together a bunch of clips from the seventies and eighties, make a few comments on their variable quality, and then in the final few minutes reveal that infact it wasn't anything to do with such shows, but more about the public's changing habits when it comes to spending their spare time. And that's exactly what the producers decided to do.
So DVD's are to blame. The internet. Digital Tv. The theatre, the cinema, pubs, clubs, restaurants. But what the show seemed to forget is that most of us have video's these days. Often several infact, and have done for about twenty years, and if something's really worth viewing, we tape it. And most of the shows covered went out before 8pm, before most people head out for a night out. So no, they were quite wrong, it's not really anything to do with our social habits, but
Because WKSNT? screwed up by being far too selective in it's examination of Saturday night tv. Yep, it covered the more likely suspects such as Noel's House Party, Little and Large, Cannon and Ball, Blind Date, etc, etc, but it seemed to completely forget all of the various drama's over the years (Casualty, Dr Who, Frost, Daziel and Pascoe, Jonathon Creek, The A-Team, Juliet Bravo et al) and a lot of the programmes aimed at a younger audience such as Jim'll Fix It and You've Been Framed. As well as Match of the Day and The Premiership, the football highlights being a mainstay of the Saturday night schedule for decades now. It also ignored everything Channel Four have ever made bar Saturday Live, and Channel Five didn't get a look in for a second despite it's occasionally interesting line up of American imports. Even within the genre's they examined key shows were missing, such as the long running 3-2-1, the awful Seaside Specials, and the various showcases for Russ Abbott over the years. Structually it was a mess too, in a documentary which cried out to be constructed chronologically, this lurched from one genre to the next, leaping back and forth through the eighties and nineties seemingly without a care in the world. What was shown was at times amusing. But mostly only as a reminder of why we won't put up with such nonsense anymore.
As ratings for Johnny and Denise's Passport to Paradise prove, it's the variety show format that we've tired of. We're not watching Saturday night tv because we truly refuse to be subjected to dated u-rated comedy routines and the chance to win prizes worth about three quid. Pop Idol and Millionaire showed that if a programme's good enough, or at least appeals to a large cross section of the audience, it will achieve good viewing figures. For a certain amount of time - until we tire of it's familiarity and demand something new again. So what really killed Saturday Night Tv? A simple lack of originality. Easily thought out tackiness. The viewer's refusal to put up with the same old crap, the constant rehashing of old ideas presented by faces who should've been drawing their pensions years ago. None of which was suggested by the show itself.
Still, at least Who Killed Saturday Night Tv? gave everyone the chance to see Sid Little boxing a kangaroo again. However un-pc it might be, it can't be denied that it was bloody funny. Now there's an idea. Celebrity Kangaroo Boxing. I swear that alone would rejuvinate Saturday night ratings in an instant.
The Lyon's Den (9.55pm, Tuesdays, Five)
Greed, it's a funny old thing ain't it? The West Wing resurrected Rob Lowe's career from a point where no one thought it could be saved. He'd never really recoverd from the incident where he was caught on videotape having sex with a teenager, and despite Mike Myers repeatedly casting him (Wayne's World, Austin Powers) no one else seemed to want too. But then he was cast as the sharp, smart, quick talking presidential advisor, and all of a sudden everything was forgiven and Lowe was back on the A-list. But then because they wouldn't pay him enough he jumped ship. Which in polite society has to be considered pretty bad behaviour.
His worse mistake though was to take the lead in this insipid drama. Blander than a night in listening to Cliff Richard albums, it's a semi-complicated mix of legal drama and political intrigue, but somehow despite an interesting premise they've managed to make it horribly uninvolving. The problem is that it's full of uninteresting scenarios and unlikeable characters. Which considering the quality of the cast, must have taken some doing; the writers are definitely to blame here, with each character strictly living in one-dimensional-ville. So Lowe's the idealistic lawyer who's rejected his rich papa in favour of helping the needy, Grant Rashton (the bloke out of Early Edition) is his evil career obsessed nemesis, whilst in the background the marvellous Rip Torn is his father, who, get this, is a shady politcian. As if there's any other kind. And each week Lowe tackles a big legal case, of the kind we've seen too many times before.
Lowe should have blessed his lucky stars when he got The West Wing, for why anyone thinks he's a great actor is beyond me. He can talk real quick like the American's seem to insist on in their drama's, but sit down and watch this and play 'guess the reaction' each time he has to do an emotional scene, and you can see how obvious and repetitive an actor he is. He's not just to blame for this being more insiduously boring than watching an entire England cricket match in slow motion however, but a lot rests on his shoulders and he doesn't carry it at all. Perhaps in the hands of a better actor it could have been at least vaguely interesting. As it is, it's certainly not.
Big Brother (9pm/10pm, every night, C4)
Following on from last month's review, here's an even more positive one. I know, I shouldn't get this involved with reality tv, but as you no doubt know, this has been the best series of Big Brother so far made in this country. No, really, it's actually better than the first two series. What people seem to forget about those years is that while they might have had memorable characters in them, ie. Brian and Nick, there were days where everyone sat around in a bored and miserable way. Where nothing really happened. We might have had one exciting event per year, such as the conflict with Nick vs Craig, and the lukewarm hints at romance between Helen and Paul, but this year we have such events taking place on an almost daily basis. Ahmed's constantly cracking up, Stu's always looking terrified that Michelle might try and show her baps to him again, Jason's quietly simmering away, ready to go over the boil at any moment, and woe betide anyone who tries to talk to Nadia when she's suffering from nicotine withdrawal.
It hasn't slipped in to being humiliating for anyone so far this year either. Whilst previous series have seen Jade ripped apart by the press, and Jon Tickle patronised for being so unintentionally funny, this year it's a mix of conflict, romance and ridiculous scenario's which have been funnier than anything the Beeb's shown in it's Monday night comedy slot in months. I keep waiting for it all to go wrong (and I guess it still could do, especially if Shell, Dan and Ahmed somehow made it through to the final three), but it keeps on refusing too, and by my reckoning there's only been one show which has been a tad on the average side. Even as I type these words I can't believe it myself, but it's all true. It's not just because of the sterling work performed by the producers in choosing twelve housemates who amuse so, the tasks have been fantastic to watch, and has meant that finally the housemates have something to do rather than sit around moaning about being bored. They've been constantly thrown at them too, so rarely a day goes past where they've nothing to do, and it really makes a difference. But even left to their own devices they've managed to find ways to entertain themselves, and us too.
As always my feelings towards the housemates changes an almost daily basis, but I'm sticking by my original comments about Victor, who now that he seems to have given up on the whole immitation gangster thang, seems far more likeable and intelligent too. Jason still annoys but that's all good and fine for the tensions it creates, and even crazy old Ahmed seems to have some mileage left in him, but if he doesn't lighten up a little soon he'll definitely be meeting his beloved Davina perhaps before he really wants too. I can't help but think that a lot of his tantrums are specifically timed to maximise sympathy for him, but he's gone a little too far now and everyone I've spoken to is tiring of him. Shell's starting to annoy now as well by being so bland, and not even her bouts of occasional nudity will save her from eviction soon, whilst Michelle seems to vary from being very michevious and amusing to slightly annoying at times, but I'd still like to see her make it through to the final three. Dan and Nadia are the only big time whingers, but easily ignorable most of the time. And I still want Stuart to win. Despite only hinting recently at how funny he can be, he's likeable, fun, and of course his relationship with Michelle and that strange mix of reluctance and general loved-up-ness is constantly amusing. And occasionally even really rather sweet. Awww.
A few mistakes have been made, like Emma being asked to leave, Dan getting chosen in the first place, and Stuart's hat being viciously burnt - how could they do such a cruel thing - but overall it's been dramatic, hilarious and plain and simple great tv, mostly all at the same time. Snobbery may make you think this is not possible, it being reality tv after all, but this series has proved how it can be as good as any other programme of any other genre when done really well.
Alex Finch.
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