STEVE BROOKSTEIN – AGAINST ALL ODDS
I just…Because…I mean…Christ, there’s no point to this is there, people will buy this buy the bucket loads even though it makes me want to vomit. Just when I thought that reality tv viewers couldn’t disgrace themselves any further post Nadia, they go and make a cunt like Steve Brookstein the winner of The X-Factor. It beggars belief doesn’t it, especially considering how his voice grates, his face makes me want to grow claws so I can slice it to pieces, and the single, a cover of a fucking Phil Collins song, well, that makes me want to track down Brookstein and Cowell and (the following has been removed for legal reasons). You might have noticed that I’m not in a particularly eloquent mood at the moment, but really, a fake smarmy pigfucker like Brookstein only deserves vicious and childish insults, and not more thought out criticism. Only buy it if you plan to give it as a Christmas present for someone you despise. There’s absolutely no other reason too. (AF). Release Date: December 20th. Link: Official Site: http://www.stevebrookstein.co.uk/
BO SELECTA - I GOT YOU BABE
And this year's Christmas No. 2 will be...Not this, that's for sure. Incase you're not aware, this is Avid Merrion, Davina McCall and Patsy Kensit, covering this classic song. And the shock is that it's not that bad, they play it largely straight, but it's aimless, pointless stuff, I kept waiting for it to get funny (not that last year's effort ever did), but it never does. It's for charity, but as Craig says below, make a donation, don't actually buy this nonsense. (AF). Release Date: 13th December. Link: Fansite: http://www.boavid.com/
Okay, okay, I know, three reviews for the whole month is weak, but then so were the releases. Normal service will resume from January, hopefully(!).
NOVEMBER 2004
BAND AID - DO THEY KNOW IT'S CHRISTMAS
Yes well, charity records are bound to sell, the hype surrounding this incarnation has been immense, especially coinciding with the Live Aid DVD release. Doubtless we will all be compelled to buy for the good cause, but critically does it hold up as a record, or has the class of 2004 failed to match the understated sound, but infectious pop joy of the original. Well in a word, no. Listening to an excerpt of the chorus the other day, I was mortified to hear Natasha Bedingfield and Joss Stone going at it hammer and tongs with ad-libs as part of their vocal ‘style’, like two young girls looking to impress their parents at the school nativity play. You look back to the artists with lines way back when - Paul Young, Boy George, George Michael, Simon Le Bon, Bono and you look at who’s singing them now - Bono, Fran, and all the credible artists, but Sugababes, Jamelia, Joss Stone and Natasha Bedingfield are front and centre whilst Neil Hannon and Damon Albarn get bit part roles. As for the song, it doesn’t work the way the first one did, even if the star power is more credible than the second one. If there is a way to make a donation as an alternative to buying this single, I shall gladly endorse it. One of the worst records I’ve heard all year, so it’ll go to number one, of course. (CA). Release Date: November 29th.
GREEN DAY - BOULEVARD OF BROKEN DREAMS
After the mature offering of Warning three years ago, it was felt that Billie Joe, Mike Dirnt and Tre Cool had mellowed out on us all. Of course American Idiot proved that to the contrary. Criticisms that they sounded too much like Good Charlotte for comfort from unfounded when you listen to some of their back catalogue, the crunching power chords were in full effect in Dookie, and remain so here. But as a testament to their maturity and desire to comment of the situation in America, we have here a really stoking ballad with a difference. Charged with ferocity, this makes the soft verse - aggressive chorus policy work to the point of being the anti-hero’s anthem. Armstrong’s vocal are dark, but gentle in comparison to classics like Longview, but there is something incredibly endearing about this track. (CA). Release Date: November 29th. Link: Fansite: http://www.greenday.net/
JOSS STONE - RIGHT TO BE WRONG
I was about to start this review with "I just don't get why Joss Stone's so bloody popular..." but then I slapped myself round the head a few times for being so utterly stupid. If she had the same voice, but was 37, a brunette, and 10 stone overweight we'd have never have heard of her. Ah, if only she was. Because pretty and young she may be, and her voice may be fairly unique, at least for a lass of her age, but the crap she puts out just isn't. And you've just got to hate someone who's achieved so much at such a young age when she really doesn't deserve too. So despite my arch nemesis' The Cheeky Girls releasing a song this month, this still gets our brand new "Worst Single Of The Month" award. Bitterness, ain't it great?! (AF). Release Date: 29th November. Link: Official Site: http://www.jossstone.co.uk/
GRANDADDY - NATURE ANTHEM
Normally this would have been the single of the month, but Rachel Stamp's Honey is so gloriously sleazy that it just pips it to the post. The two songs couldn't be more different either, this is a simple but joyous ode to nature, delightfully upbeat (unusually for the band) and utterly lovable. Plus the video has the band (and friends) dressing up as various animals and messing about in the countryside. Even if you've reservations, buy it just so that it might get shown on CD:UK and confuse the kids. (AF). Release Date: 22nd November. Link: Official Site: http://www.grandaddylandscape.com/
JAMELIA - STOP & WILL YOUNG - YOUR LOVE IS KING
Who knew Pulp’s Bad Cover version would be so prophetic? OK, maybe I am being a bit harsh on the Jamelia cover, but saying she does a satisfactory job is like saying the Eastenders scriptwriters did a decent job of adapting a Shakespeare Play. OK I’m repeating my analogy, but new information has come to light. Both the above are part of the Bridget Jones Soundtrack plus the Girls Aloud cover, which must make it the worst Film soundtrack ever surely? Anyway, cliff notes review: Jamelia does an average version of an unbeatable one-hit wonder, and Will Young does an even blander version of one of Sade’s blandest hits - if that’s possible? My advice, steer clear of any cinemas that may show the offensive film in question. Failing that, hibernate for 4 months. (CA). Link: Official Site: http://www.jamelia.com/ Link: Official Site: http://www.will-youngonline.com/
GWEN STEFANI - WHAT YOU WAITING FOR?
Oh, OK. Gwen’s decided to go all avant-garde 80’s influenced pop on us. Lyrically it suggests some form of excitement/anxiety looking forward whilst keeping some love for her old bandmates. I’m just wondering if it was really necessary to release a debut single which sounds more like a plan of assault on the music industry, than a fun pop song. Musically, it is not far from the Rock Steady album which suggests Nellee Hooper and/or Dave Stewart may have had a hand in it. Having those producers as back-up can be a sure-fire way to get yourself a hit, although after a few listens, you feel it’ll be about as interesting as wallpaper. (CA). Release Date: 15th November. Link: Fansite: http://www.gwenstefani.net/
EMPEROR STATE - FROSTBITE / WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL
Debut single from a Leicester three piece that got together 18 months ago. Six months of fine tuning from Loz Tilley, Aaron Pain and Pete Harrison has culminated in this double A side release, which was initially available for release at a gig at the Charlotte on 02/11/04. Comparisons abound with fellow East Midlands Alumni Kasabian, but this has the feel of a more emotional hardcore sound than the baggy Stone Roses influence of the latter. Vocalist has an eerie quality not heard since the days of Paul Draper and Mansun, and the rough and ready sound can be taken one of two ways. It is either refreshing to hear the distinctive parts clearly rather than be meshed and mixed together into one column of noise (a la Funeral For The Friend), on the other hand, it is unlikely to get you played on Kerrang TV (a la Funeral for the Friend). I must admit, I was torn with what to say here. There is a lot of promise to the band, but they would stick out like a sore thumb in the market at present, despite clearly using influences from recognisable places. Thumbs rigidly placed in the middle, sat precariously perched on the fence. (CA). Release Date: 2nd November. Link: http://www.emperorstate.com/
KEANE – THIS IS THE LAST TIME
Keane seem to often be misconstrued. Criticised by numerous magazines and websites for ‘having no balls’ – attracting the coffee table market. Inoffensive, but boring is the party line. I think that was certainly true of a couple of the singles, but “Somewhere only we know” had that element of romance to make it an anthem, and this latest offering is vitriolic but in a gentle way. This seems to be the closest thing to Tom Chaplin attacking a vocal with venom. But does it come as any surprise that they’re not competing with the White Stripes of this world? Musically, it is angelic to the point of being sacred, but their lamentable tunes are easy on the ear, and that is the whole point. They shouldn’t be playing Festivals; they should be playing Royal Festival Halls. This would be the sort of tune you listen to pensively on the ride home from work, not headbanging in your bedroom. (CA). Release Date: November 22nd. Link: Official Site: http://www.keaneband.com/
EMBRACE – ASHES
Feared that Gravity might just be a one-off return to form? It was a niggling thought in the back of my mind I have to confess. But ah, I should have trusted them. For this sees Danny and co. turn out a much more upbeat but equally as satisfying tune, and unlike some of their earlier material, it’s a song which you’ll find yourself humming along to at the most inopportune moments. See this page, and help it get to number one. You know it makes sense. (AF). Release Date: November 15th. Link: Official Site: http://www.embrace.co.uk/
GIRLS ALOUND – I’LL STAND BY YOU
Following on from Jamelia’s passable attempt to cover Sam Brown’s “Stop”, those pesky girls cover The Pretenders classic for the Bridget Jones soundtrack. Where the Jamelia cover could be likened to Andrew Davies (of Pride and Prejudice fame) rewriting George Orwell’s Animal Farm – it would be fine for what it was, but completely incomparable to the classic version, which would still be held up as one of the best one-hit wonders of all time. Here, all the emotion from the Last of the Independents recording gets sucked out ‘til all that remains is a dry carcass, all set to be repackaged as something beautiful with the aid of Five’s Cosmetic Surgeons. Those that haven’t, seek the original out. The rest of us, give this a wide berth. (CA). Release Date: November 15th. Link: Fansite: http://www.girlsaloud.org/
THE THRILLS – NOT FOR ALL THE LOVE IN THE WORLD
...Would I buy this single. Did you see what I did there? Did ya? Did ya? Christ. I'm sorry. It's just so hard not to resort to such a cheap pun when a single's this bad. Listening to their debut album again, it's remarkably weak lyrically, but they just about get away with it due to the catchiness of the tunes. But this time around the catchiness is long gone, and in it's place is an uninspired and insipid melody that has now been scientifically proved to send pensioners to sleep. Most probably. Why they're more popular now is beyond me, but hey, I never have quite understood the public's taste. Ah well, hopefully it's a matter of time before they fade in to obscurity and someone more deserving takes their place. (AF). Could easily be lumped in the inoffensive, beautifully contrived pop bracket occupied by Keane. They also tend to succumb to the same criticisms. Case in point here. For all the lush strings and dreamy melody, it plods. Oh boy does it plod. Conor can swoon all he wants to in the chorus, I probably won’t be awake to hear it. Shame really, as the livelier stuff from the first album with his west-coast hooks and pedal steel slides was quite nice in the summer. This justifies the tag dull. (CA). Release Date: November 15th. Link: Fansite: http://www.thethrills.o-f.com/
R.E.M. - AFTERMATH
I don't care if it's fashionable or not, I'm gonna say it. I like R.E.M. I don't love them. I don't want to track down everything they've ever realised, but I do like them. Now maybe that's damning them with faint praise, but considering how long they've been going, and that they're still putting out damn fine material like this, they really do deserve their popularity, unlike most. And this latest release is a little more poetic than usual, with lyrics like "And when London falls / He'd like to call / But the stars collide / They're beautiful and much maligned. / In a universe where you see the worst / And it's up to you to fix it." Okay, it's not Plath or Elliot, but it is strangely affecting. If only they'd experiment sonically a little more I really could fall for them. Here's hoping one day they will do so again. (AF). Release Date: November 29th. Link: Fansite: http://www.rem-fan.com/
BRIAN MCFADDEN - IRISH SON
The surprisingly rather amiable ex-boyband singer was on Frank Skinner last night discussing this latest track, mentioning how it's all about his negative religious experiences. So is it a dark, angry tune filled with blasphemous lyrics? Or rather insipid M.O.R. nonsense that will only serve to confuse his pre-pubescent fans? Guess. Then sigh. Next. (AF). Release Date: November 22nd. Link: Official Site: http://www.brianmcfadden.com/new/
MCFLY - ROOM ON THE THIRD FLOOR
I've had some time for McFly in the past, they're less predictable and obvious than Busted always are. They've copied 'the britpop sound' a few times and come across as likeably trashy crap, the kind you rarely admit to liking, but secretly do. But now they're trying to be all serious, and this sounds like a Nickelback record. Which is clearly absolutely unacceptable. So so so not good then. Ah, it was always a matter of time I guess. (AF). It really comes to something when the best thing about a single is the video. Well, here is that very case. A truly ingenious concept gets wasted on a band who wrote a single about where they wrote most of their album. Could there be a more pointless statement to make? They may dress like the wannabe darling of punk bands of 1994, but those Country and Western licks aren’t fooling anyone over the age of 20 with an appreciation for good music. MOR dressed up as lamb. Expect it to pass you buy, until you see the video. (CA).Release Date: November 15th. Link: Fansite: http://www.mcfly-rock.com/
HAR MAR SUPERSTAR - BODY REQUEST
He's a bit of a chubby bloke! He dances in his pants sometimes! He's so craaaaaaaaaaaaazzzzzy! And he makes music like we're still in the seventies! It's definitely a case of style over content! Yet again! And you want me to stop doing the whole exclamation mark thing now because it's getting annoying?! Okay, just for you. So this is soul funk with a slice of disco, and it's alright, nothing special, the epitome of averageness. And that's all. If you like that kind of thing (really? why?), then you'll like this. But you'll never love it. (AF). Release Date: November 8th. Link: Official Site: http://www.harmarsuperstar.com/
U2 - VERTIGO
As established bands get older, it seems they lose some of the fresh and raw impetus when they were angry young men, with profound statements to deliver in song, and consolidate the success of an accessible album. Red Hot Chilli Peppers immediately come to mind. 2001's All that you can't leave behind seemed to follow Californication in producing a more accessible sound at the expense of losing a smidge of the base for your foundation, keeping most of your trademarks intact. In RHCP's case, gone were the expansive funky styles of early RHCP and the George Clinton produced record. In it's place were inserted good songs, a feat consolidated by By the Way. Both RHCP's recent records have been produced by legendary producer Rick Rubin (of Blood Sugar Sex Magik), and it appears U2 have looked for safe ground by recruiting producer and mixer of classic U2 albums Steve Lillywhite. In U2's case, they retained the trademark delays and overdubs of The Edge, strong vocals by Bono and Larry Mullen and Adam Clayton matching Flea and Chad Smith as an incredibly tight rhythm section. Here it seems they've written the record to consolidate the success of their previous album. Here it seems they can now gloriously state the over-glamourised, stylised phase of Pop is now firmly behind them. Vertigo has everything you would expect from a U2 record. It's pacey, musically fun and lively like a rock record should be, but seems to have lost some of the weight of earlier records. But that's not to detract from how good the record is. Like RHCP, the new songs were infectious, anthemic and a great listen. For all it's airplay, Beautiful Day was a really uplifting record. Stuck in a moment was a really well written song, even on the second best of - for a throwaway single, Electrical Storm had a tremendous Bono vocal. Vertigo follows on for where all these records left off with a touch more punch. Larry Mullen can go back into his local safe in the knowledge that his Discotheque days will become a distant memory. Taken from new album How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb. (CA). Release Date: 8th November. Link: Fansite: http://www.u2station.com/
EMINEM – JUST LOSE IT
Yep, we feared this would happen. That old Marshall Mathers would only have a couple of albums in him before he went all shite. This is more rambling of the 'Aren't I just great' variety, mixed in with an invite for us all to lose it on the dancefloor. By going "Roooarrgh" in a quietly moany kind of way. Musically they surely couldn't have spent more than four point eight seconds coming up with the sound, and the whole thing reeks of laziness. Worst Eminem single ever? Definitely so. (AF). Release Date: November 8th. Link: Fansite: http://www.eminemworld.com/
THE PANDA GANG - WHERE THERE'S A WILL
Imagine, if you like, a stripped down Simply Red, one slightly less smooth and over-produced. Still feeling nauseous? Then think yourself lucky that you've yet to actually hear One Peach Hill. Any band which aspires to be Hucknall like should be taken down to Battersy Dogs Home and left in the rabid dogs cage there, and hopefully they will be soon. Oh, and by the way, where there's a will, there's normally a dead person, not a way, you cliché loving bastards. (AF). Release Date: 1st November.
AVRIL LAVIGNE - NOBODY'S HOME
Being a man, it's hard not to pick up the remote control and spend the evening flipping through the channels in the desperate hope I'd find something actually worth watching on a Saturday night. And so when Ms Lavigne reared her whiney head on Ant and Dec's Saturday Night Takeaway, obviously my first reaction was to change channel. But I tried to resist. Hear her out. See if she could defy expectations. I last sixty three seconds, and ended up watching Phillip Schofield patronise the nation on BBC1 instead, and even that was preferable to Avril's latest astoundingly bland single. It's that bad. (AF). Release Date: November 1st. Link: Fansite: http://www.alavigne.com/
Click here to discuss the above singles on the Garbled Forums.
ELECTRIC SIX - RADIO GAGA
ALSO RELEASED IN DECEMBER:
December 6th:
Alison Moyet - Almost Blue/Alfie
Ash - Renegade Cavalcade
Beastie Boys - Open Letter To NYC
Beautiful South - This Old Skin
Bent - Flavour Country EP
Brian Wilson - Good Vibrations
Cass McCombs - Sacred Heart
The Corrs - Long Night
Digitonal - The Centre Cannot Hold
Elliott Smith - Pretty Ugly Before
Fever - Bridge And Tunnel
Jethro Tull - Jethro Tull Christmas EP
Jetplane Landing - There Is No Real Courage Unless There Is Real Danger
Kylie Minogue - I Believe In You
Loose Cannons - Got It All Wrong
Ludes - Radio
Maroon 5 - Sunday Morning
Robbie Williams - Misunderstood
Rodney P Ft Mystro - I Don't Care (Time To Party)
Russell Watson - You Raise Me Up
Sugarcult - She's The Blade
Tubby T - Ready She Ready
December 13:
Blink 182 - Always
Bo Selecta - I Got You Babe/Sodapop
Cliff Richard - I Cannot Give You My Love
The Concretes - Warm Night
Damien Rice - The Blower's Daughter
Features - Leave It All Behind
Gene - Let Me Move On
Goldie Lookin' Chain - You Knows I Love You
Hot Pantz - Give You One For Christmas
Jim Noir - Eanie Meany EP
John Fox - Mr No
Lucky Jim - Lesbia EP
Medicine Hat - Old Time Rock N Roll
Morrissey - I Have Forgiven Jesus
My Chemical Romance - Thank You For The Venom
Radio Dept - Ewan
Ronan Keating Ft Yusuf - Father And Son
Sandra McCracken - No More Tears
Sheila Ferguson - New Kind Of Medicine
Skandi Girls - Do The Can Can
Stewart Francke - Safely Home
Tony Christie - Amarillo
Zutons – Confusion
December 20
Charlatans - Loving You Is Easy
Joe Brown - I'll See You In My Dreams
Mr Christmas - Christmas Everyday
Star Turn on 45 Pints - Take Me Out
Sweet Revenge - Simon Cowell Says
Tara Blaise - Fool For Love
December 27
Jet - Get Me Outta Here
Secret Machines - Sad And Lonely
RACHEL STAMP - HONEY
ALSO RELEASED IN NOVEMBER:
November 1st:
Ashanti - Only You
Avril Lavigne - Nobody's Home
The Black Eyed Peas - Don't Mess With My Heart
Britney Spears - My Prerogative
Delta Goodrem - Out Of The Blue
Destiny's Child - Lose My Breath
Elton John - All That I'm Allowed (I'm Thankful)
Fabolous - Breathe
Jamelia - DJ
Jamie Scott - Searching
JoJo feat. Bow Wow - Baby It's You
Lost Witness feat. Andrea Britton - Wait For You
Patrizio Buanne - Il Mondo
The Strokes - End Had No End
Westlife - Smile
November 8th:
Bloc Party - Helicopter
Blue - Curtain Falls
The Dears - Lost The Plot
Delerium feat. Sarah McLachlan - Silence 2004
Dizzee Rascal - Dream
Dragonheart - Video Killed The Radio Star
Eyeopener - Hungry Eyes
Finn Brothers - Nothing Wrong With You
Groove Coverage - Poison
Gwen Stefani - What Are You Waiting For
Hiding Place - Cruel Kindness
Jamie Cullum - Everlasting Love
Kelli Ali - Hot Lips
Lethal B - Forward
Mark Lanegan - Hit The City
Soulwax - E-Talking
Steriogram - Walkie Talkie Man
Stonebridge feat. Ultra Nate - Freak On
Tears For Fears - Closest Thing To Heaven
Thunder - I Love You More Than Rock 'N' Roll
Urban Cookie Collective - The Key, The Secret 2004
V - You Stood Up
The Wedding Present - Interstate 5
November 15th:
2Play feat. Thomas Jules and Jucxi D - Careless Whisper
The 411 - Teardrops
Anastacia - Welcome To My Truth
Avril Lavigne - Nobody's Home
Doves - Black And White Town
Franz Ferdinand - This Fire
I Dream feat. Calvin & Frankie - Dreaming
Intenso Project featuring Lisa Scott-Lee - Get It On
JoJo feat. Bow Wow - Baby It's You
Lemar - If There's Any Justice
Mercury Rev - In A Funny Way
The Music - Bleed From Within
Nas feat. Olu Dara - Bridging The Gap
Onyx feat. Gemma J - Every Little Time
Paul Weller - Thinking Of You
Twilight Singers - Too Tough To Die The White Stripes - Jolene Live Under Blackpool Lights
November 22nd:
Ashanti - Only You
The Black Eyed Peas - Don't Mess With My Heart
Brian McFadden - Irish Son
The Corrs - Long Night
Darren Hayes - Darkness
Delays - Lost In A Melody
Geri Halliwell - Ride It
Green Day - Boulevard Of Broken Dreams
Keane - This Is The Last Time
Kristian Leontiou - Some Say
Lostprophets - Tonight
OutKast - Prototype/Ghettomusick
Raghav - Angel Eyes
Status Quo - Thinking Of You
Sugababes - Overload 2004
Tim Bowness - Sleepwalker
November 29th:
69 Corp - Demonseed
Alison Moyet - Almost Blue/Alfie
Alter Ego - Rocker
Aventura - Obsésion
Babyshambles - Killamangiro
Battersea Dogs Home Rockford - Christmas Morning
Big Strides - Suicidal
Bird - Falling Like Stars/Christmas Song Blue States - Last Blast [Ltd Ed]
Bobby Darin - All I Have To Do Is Dream/Alone Again, Naturally
Bryan Adams - Flying
Camera - Hurt
Cheeky Girls - Boys Boys Boys
Colour Of Fire - A Pearl Necklace For Her Majesty
The Corrs - Long Night
Deckard - Holy Rolling
Dillinger Escape Plan - Under The Running Board [Ltd Ed]
Dub Pistols - Official Chemical
Elefant - Misfit
Elvis - Not Enough EP
Fatboy Slim - Wonderful Night
Kanye West - Workout Plan
Kevin East - Butterfly Fantasy Girl
Long cut - Transition EP
Marvia Providence - Hear My Cry, Oh Lord
Matt Sharp - Just Like Movie Stars
Metric - Combat Baby
Micah P Hinson - Beneath The Rose EP
Midnight Movies - Persimmon Tree
Nadia Almada - A Little Bit Of Action
Natasha Bedingfield - Unwritten
Natascha Sohl - Give It All Away
Neville Staple - Pressure/Cow Cow Yicky
Nic Armstrong - In Your Arms
Nou - Coco Butta
Onyx feat. Gemma J - Every Little Time
Performance - Love Life
Razorlight - Rip It Up
The Real Tuesday Weld - Bathtime In Clerkenwell
Red Carpet - Alright
Snoop Dogg feat. Pharrel - Drop It Like It's Hot
Sonics - Have Love, Will Travel
The Streets - Could Well Be In
Tat - Pessimist Live From Another Wasted Summer
Wolfman - Napoleon
Alex Finch, Craig Aston, Izzy Brooks.
The Singles Review Archive:
September and October 2004
July and August 2004.
May and June 2004.
March and April 2004
January and February 2004
November and December 2003
September and October 2003
July and August 2003
May and June 2003
March and April 2003
January and February 2003
November and December 2002
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January and February 2002.
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May to August 2001.
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