Communication Breakdown

Communication Breakdown

September has been a bloody bad month for breakfast tele. In a double "BBC Breakfast" (BBC1, weekdays) whammy, we lost the bounty of blunder that was Jeremy Bowen (How. Could. He. Leave. Us?) and were inflicted with the moronic, giggling, give-it-to-now-I'm gasping-for-it Gaby Roslin. Who the hell decided to give her an early morning slot? And how did Kilroy take the news that his show was being elbowed back by fifteen minutes every day? Not with a cheeky smile and a toss of the steely grey hair, I'll warrant.

Gaby's a slut. No one wants to see her salivating over the likes of Clive Mantle and Rob blinkin' Bonnet at quarter to nine. She's got the hots for the entire country - and beyond. Male, female, inanimate object - you name it, Gaby wants to

hump it. Her "flirtatious" advances towards her co-presenters are spleen-constrictingly embarrassing and the way she pours shallow compliments onto every single soul she interviews is so nauseating my Special K breakfast bars are tempted to appear for an encore. The woman must be contained before she starts attempting to seduce animals live on National TV. Still, it was good to see the salacious "jolley-hockey-sticks" veneer slip for a moment during her second week. An early camera cut caught her barking instructions at some poor sod called "Mike" in a far from flirtatious manner - perhaps the real Roslin isn't gagging for a shag after all.

The appearance of Dermot Murnaghan on the "Breakfast" couch, did make amends for the departure of Blunder Bowen and appearance of Randy Roslin. He was head-butting BBC tradition on his very first morning - taking off his jacket no less! What a kidder. His professionalism is a bit disconcerting after so many years of Breakfast balls-ups, but I suppose the comedy element of the show was always going to be short-lived. And if you want a good guffaw of a morning there's always RI:SE. Ahem.

TV at the other end of the daily spectrum hasn't been bad. The new series of "The Secret Life Of Us" (E4, Tuesdays) has delivered ten-fold and new "Fat Friends" (ITV1, Thursdays) got off to a blistering start. The BBC1 Dublin-based drama "Anytime Now" came to a hugely satisfying climax and, for anyone who missed it, the inevitable digital repeats should be marked "unmissable" in your TV diary.

If the there's too much war-talk for you on TV right now, beg, steal or borrow a copy of the new Gordon Gano album, "Hitting The Ground". Out in the shops on September 2nd, "Hitting The Ground" is the soundtrack to David Moore's movie of the same name. No surprise that the former Violent Femmes frontman has come up with an album capable of knocking your socks off, but perhaps you will be taken aback to learn that he only sings on 3 of the 11 tracks. The remaining 8 numbers are adorned with the vocal master-notes of Lou Reed, John Cale, PJ Harvey, Frank Black, They Might Be Giants...the list goes on. It's a truly splendid LP.

Finally, there's a great new game to be played in the grisly world of entertainment. If you've not tuned in to Zoe Ball's (God, it's such an appropriate name) new slot at XfM yet, then I suggest you do so. Pronto. Flick the dial at 4pm, Mondays to Thursdays, and set your stopwatch. In between the usual above-average XfM play-list, you'll be treated to Ball's own brand of banter. But the question is, how long can she conduct the show before she mentions a) Norm b) Woody c) Johnny Ball a.k.a "Dad" or d) Brighton ("it's my home town, you know"). Not long, I can tell you. Get your 10p stakes down and keep an ear cocked. It's far better than actually concentrating on the drivel she spouts. Ooh, I'm such a bitch.

Johanna Payton
Johannapayton@hotmail.com

GC(uk) Index Site Map Links Discussion Forums About Us Link To Us Adverts Add a Link
GC(uk) Email Advanced Site Search

Let Spyonit.com notify you when this page changes!

Search this site! Just type in what you want to find and click the search button.