Elvis goes mad in shopping mall killing 13 and injuring 25
Elvis Presley, also known as "the King of rock and roll", went insane with a hand gun in a Memphis shopping mall earlier this week. His killing spree lasted just 52 seconds and left 13 dead and another 25 hospitalised, some critically. Witnesses have described the scene with words. "He sang one of his songs and then started shooting, 'Love me Tender' I think. It was horrible - all slurred and out of key. It's amazing people weren't already running for cover. In all the confusion I shot my mother-in-law" said Mr Chip Hoven.
Elvis was heard shouting "ah thank you very much" just before departing via the Doors, who had a car waiting outside. Meanwhile back in England rubbish Elvis rip-off Twat Cliff Richard was apprehended attempting to steal approx. £3000.00 worth of woman's underwear from Marks and Spencers. When asked why he had done it, the Peter Pan of Pop replied "I've just got to do wrong". Twat.
Film previewIn the new Jackie Chan movie 'Escape from Monkey World', the most impressive set piece is in the Jellybean farm scene. All I know about the film is that Jackie Chan plays a undercover cop from Hong Kong who is working for the Australian government but takes the wrong flight and ends up working as a park keeper in 'Monkey world' where he uncovers a secret monkey smuggling ring. Then all hell breaks loose giving way to all the action and mayhem you'd expect from a Jackie Chan movie.
The Lost
As Rex was trying to say in his own way, it's been some time since any of us gathered. I fear there aren't many of us left, the Lost I mean, those of us that have walked the earth since the dawn of time searching for the way out. Imagine yourself in a cube unable to find the door after a while there are cobwebs over your eyes and no end in sight, insects crawling over you're White skin blood on snow, this is what it is like for us. So what you say and right you are to this is our problem but Rex wishes to share it with you. It also solves my problem of what to write.
Rex the Goblin
Fly's collect on the corpse in the corner of my room
The blood blackens on the deep carpet
Raw meat heavy in my belly.
I feel alive at the expense of others
Rex
Bob
Bit on the strange side isn't he? Still he photographs well :
Prince the untold story. Did you know Prince was born
Harold Studd and he thought he was a carrot for the first 12 years
of his life and one of his legs is false and he smells of wee and one
time he took a shit on a bench by the science block at Woodhatch
Secondary school, oh no that was Madonna taking time off from
sucking off horses. He stole all the grass in green park and then sued
the Queen for naming the park inappropriately. In short Prince is a
menace to society. Snoop Doggy Dogg is so gay that even Graham
Norton won't talk to him for fear of getting aids, Snoop who will bum
anything has found a friend in Michael Portillo and he is now MP for
Romsey after "Bossman Mikey P" torched the previous incumbents
house, there is talk of Snoop becoming the new shadow chancellor.
Message ends
Woken up by the sound of drums
creosoted fish pond, down through the trees, to where the digging was being
done, to behind the shed .I said
"hang on you can't bury a dead dog in my fucking garden."
It was Dutch the bloody Spiv.
"not for anything less then twenty quid"
"twenty a pooch"
he said, or something along those lines,
" you must be off your rocker I'll give you five."
"five English pounds per dead k9" I harshly considered" you must take me
fore some kind of French man."
" five nikker and a set of spanners and that is my final offer, let me feel the fibre of your fabric. I love my mum, the queen andjellied eels and Bobby Moore, Gawd bless him, and Dennis Wise forhe is a diminutive madman."
The deal was struck and he's buried about 8 so far. I find it improves the
flavour.
Any one for a kebab or a lovely set of spanners?
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