Dir: Danny Leiner. Cast: Ashton Kutcher, Seann William Scott, Jennifer Garner, Marla Sokoloff, Hal Sparks.
Teen comedies of late have all centred around kids wanting to have sex as soon/much as possible, and whilst Dude, Where’s My Car starts of this way, it soon, somewhat surprisingly, enters surreal, ridiculously bizarre, sci-fi comedy territory. Whilst still being cheap and trashy at the same time, of course.
It’s a kind of illegitimate child of Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure, with two even dumber stoner kids who float through the film finding pretty much everything amusing, and it’s their simplistic outlook that ultimately saves them, and the film, from ever becoming too annoying.
Pretty much the main joy of the film is how unpredictable it is, so if you’ve yet to see it, the rest of the review really should be avoided. It begins with two stoner friends, Chester and Jesse (nicknames: Johnny Potsmoker and Smokey McPot), waking up after a crazed night out with no memory. They soon discover they’ve lost their car, and set about searching for it.
So far, so normal, but soon they’re being snogged by transsexual lap dancers, arrested by the police, attacked by ostrich’s, locked up in a cage, and pursued by, variously, five super sexy ‘babes’, two Swedish guys, and a cult who believe in aliens, all after ‘a continuum transfunctioner’.
Of course due to their lack of memory, they havent got a clue what’s going on around them, and spend the whole movie coping with the various insane situations with wide eyed enthusiasm. Throw in so many moments like when Jesse and Chester end up snogging each other, a stoned dog, a crazy Chinese food restaurant, blind kids at a school fete, and various other ‘comedy situations’ and you end up with a movie guaranteed to make you laugh pretty regularly.
By the ending it all gets incredibly ridiculous, pulling off a closure that makes vague sense bar their eventual finding of the car, but hey, when the journey’s been so enjoyable, slight details like that don’t really matter. So whenever you’re in the mood to switch your mind off and just enjoy a really dumb comedy, Dude, Where’s My Car is well worth seeking out.
Dir: Tom Stern, Alex Winter. Cast: Alex Winter, Randy Quaid, Mr T, Bobcat Goldthwait, Keanu Reeves.
If you were to ever tell anyone that one of your favourite movies stars Mr T as a bearded woman, they’d think you’d lost any sanity you’ve ever had, but Freaked is a tour de force of stupendously ridiculous gags, slapstick and gross out humour. For comedy this riotously stupid you know there must be a lot of intelligence behind it.
Winter plays Ricky Coogan, a washed up soap opera star who appears on a chat show to tell host Brooke Shields about the shocking events that happened to him when he and two friends, Ernie and Julie, visited a freak show run by a mad professor (Randy Quaid). Kidnapped by Quaid, and turned in to hideous mutant freaks, Coogan has his face turned half human, half hideous beast, and is quickly nicknamed the beast boy, whilst Ernie and Julie are joined together Siamese twins style.
They soon learn that they are not alone, and other assorted other victims of the professor include Sock head (a man with a sock puppet for a head), Ortez the Dog Boy (an unrecognisable Keanu Reeves), The Worm (pretty self explanatory), The Frogman (actually just a deep sea diver), The Bearded Lady, Nosey (a man with a giant nose), and Cowboy ( half human, half cow). Escape is the only thing on their minds, but alas the mad professor has plans to turn Coogan in to a super freak and kill them all.
It’s the throw away gags, cheap sight jokes and ridiculously over the top performances which make the film so funny though. There’s just so much other nonsense going on in the background too, including Rick’s telepathic relationship with a young kid, the freaks playing various tv game shows, the giant rastifarian eyeballs, and much more besides. If you don’t find yourself laughing at this film then you’ve clearly spent too much time doing hallucinogenic drugs in the past.
Dir: Michael Lehmann. Cast: Bruce Willis, Danny Aiello, Andie MacDowell, Sandra Bernhard, Richard E. Grant, James Coburn.
Everyone wanted Hudson Hawk to flop before it was released, as it’s the sort of vanity project that people can’t stand to see succeed. Bruce Willis came up with the storyline and starred in this comedy about two thieves who are blackmailed in to stealing parts of an alchemy machine designed by Leonardo DiVinchi. And flop it did. But as the years have worn on, and repeat views have never disappointed, there’s just something rather charming about this Hollywood disaster.
It’s got one of those plots that The Sun would describe as complicated and confusing, but its not at all, and only those who found Mission Impossible perplexing might struggle with anything here. At the beginning, Brucie’s just released from prison at the beginning of the film, vowing, like all filmic ex-cons, never to commit another crime again. Of course as soon as you hear this you know it’s not going to be long before Willis is on the wrong side of the law once again, and it only takes about five minutes running time before he’s blackmailed in to stealing parts of an alchemy machine Di Vinchi designed to turn metal into gold. Cue robbery scenes, more slapstick comedy and a fair few explosions.
So it all sounds rather stupid, yeah? Well sure, but at least it’s intentional stupidity for a change, and I guess I like Hudson Hawk simply because it tries so hard. It’s by no means perfect, or even approaching classic film status, but at least you can see what Willis was trying to do – mix the hard ass action found in Die Hard with a bit of Chaplin-esque comedy and the smart asides found in Moonlighting. At times it works really well, and for every joke that falls flat, there’s another right behind it to try and improve on it, and the general pace of the film should be admired by all who hate the recent trend of ridiculously over long and over ponderous movies.
From the Pope watching Mr Ed on tv to Sandra Bernhard’s dog, Bunny, being shot out of a window, whilst it’s all really, really silly, it’s ultimately so charming that it gets away with it. And any film which sees Fred from Coronation Street (John Savident) being described as ‘a constipated warthog’ just before he explodes, and Andie MacDowell doing an impression of a dolphin whilst being tortured, deserves to be seen at least once.
Dir: Roman Polanski. Starring: Hugh Grant, Peter Coyote, Emmanuelle Seigner, Kristin Scott Thomas.
The ugly problem with any so called erotic drama, a category which Bitter Moon falls firmly in to, is whether or not it’s art or pornography. And whilst there’s a fair bit of nudity in the film, and a smattering of erotic talk, the film is more about failing relationships, the way married people interact with each other, and a didactic lesson about the effects sexual experimentation has on marriage, rather than just an excuse to show some tits and arse for two hours. And just in case you’re not convinced, well, there’s no ‘front bottom’ nudity for one thing, it’s also based upon the book ‘Lunes de Fiel’ by Pascal Bruckner, and it’s got a young Hugh Grant and Kristin Scott Thomas in it. So of course it can’t be pornographic. Unless you’ve got really strange sexual tastes that is. But whatever your view on this is, trying to convince people that Bitter Moon is a good film, well, that’s much harder.
Whilst it may sound uncomfortably claustrophobic, infact about seventy five percent of the movie is taken up with flashbacks of Oscar and Mimi’s increasingly sexually depraved relationship, which is mainly set in Paris, and it’s this section that makes the film so watchable, that and Peter Coyote’s Oscar, a superbly realistic anti-hero. Instantly likeable, his dry, dark humour rises this film out of melodrama and makes it a joy to watch, and his observations on the nature of romance, love and relationships seem always darkly honest (especially in the scene where he splits up with Mimi, explaining “You don’t do anything. You exist. That’s all.”) and, if not profound, they are consistently amusing. Indeed bar Signor, who is pretty enough but no Oscar winner, everyone walks away with acting plaudits, and for once it actually looks like Grant is acting, rather than just running through his repertoire of ‘Quirky Upper Class English’ reactions. Infact the only reasonable criticism of the film is that Kristin Scott Thomas is so underused.
So yeah, whilst this may not be a movie to watch with mother - some truly bizarre sex scenes, one including pig masks and another in which Coyote visits a prostitute (and her pet dog) determine this for certain – Bitter Moon is a pretty decent, intelligent movie, and one which will leave you feeling that you might just have seen something truly original for a change.
Dir: Savage Steve Holland. Starring: John Cusack, David Ogden Stiers, Diane Franklin.
I'm not exactly a huge fan of eighties teen comedies, and have no time at all for the now thankfully mostly unemployed John Hughes. But this never takes itself as seriously as the Breakfast Club, Ferris Bueller etc. types, and doesn't claim to have all the answers to the 'pain of teenage angst' bollocks that concerns most of these movies. Infact, it rarely takes itself seriously at all, and this is the joy of the movie. It's packed with so many jokes that it take a few viewings to notice them all. Like all the best comedies, I think you'll find.
The film also benefits from a really strong cast, tongues firmly kept in cheek, and whilst it looks like possibly one of the worst films, it really is good. Cusack had 'portrayed' the confused teenager in comedy movies a fair few times, and is a natural, comfortable lead to watch. Ogden Stiers provides comedy value as the film's skiing 'villain' and Diane Franklin looks cute enough as the female love interest.
So what makes this film so good? Well, it's all the unusual sub plots and minor characters that really add the comedy sparkle to this movie. From the Paperboy who won't give up trying to collect his pay (ending the movie flying off a huge cliff screaming 'I want My Two Dollars', to the two Japenese boy racers who help Cusack find the confidence he needs to carry off the 'ending'.
Add to the mix a French Student who can really speak English (but claims she can't) , her enormously letcherous housemate, Cusack's insane best friend (Curtis Armstrong) snorting on top of a mountain and screaming 'Its snow! Pure Snow!I think I've frozen the left part of my brain,' and, perhaps best of all, Cusack's family. His Father simply tries, but inevitably fails, to understand his son (and keep his windows from being broken),his Mother simply blunders her way through the film (as her cooking gets more and more dangerous), and his brother builds laser guns, spaceships and picks up trashy women, (despite only being 11).
The film's inventively shot, with a sprinkling of animation throughout, the soundtrack is better than most from the eighties (let's not forget that it's the worst decade for music.....ever!), and the script is, well, just very funny. So, when you've seen all the new releases, and our looking for a decent comedy, well, ahem, I'm embarrassed to admit liking this, but Better Off Dead is a damn good film, and worth seeking out.
Alex Finch
THE LAST ACTION MOVIE
Dir: John McTiernan. Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Charles Dance, Anthony Quinn, Austin O'Brien, Mercedes Reuhl.
OK, it has taken weeks and weeks of self-hypnosis to get me to this stage. Night after night of going to bed, closing my eyes, and saying to myself before I eventually drop off to sleep, "No one will laugh at you if you say you like this film." repeatedly, in order to permanently place the notion in my subconscious, so I can get to this point, and not feel pressured out of writing this review, for fear of ridicule.
There is also a sense of irony to this review; considering the recent flop "Honest", being heavily highlighted by papers like the Mail, who also compared it to other failures at the UK box office; "Last Action Hero" being one of them.
I personally found it surprising, and also unsurprising. It was unsurprising the way that Arnie fans were probably disappointed, because it was a film that required a lot of thinking, no disrespect to Arnie fans; I myself am one.
What can not really be argued is that Arnie's best roles have been tough, macho, one-dimensional characters, with the exception of True Lies, but he also had a good comedy foil in Tom Arnold. The Terminator films are arguably his best, and arguably did not require a great deal of darker aspects to the character, which would have made him a more rounded character. What Arnie does in this is mainly satire; keeping faith with his own world, and not believing that it may not be as real as he thinks it is.
The basic principle was similar to that of the Matrix - reality:unreality. With Movie characters believing their lives to be real, when as voyeurs, the audience of the real world use it as a form of escapism, but know enough to know a film's format, structure, and most importantly it isn't real.
The comedy in the film comes from the 'insider' jokes, with O 'Brien realising that he is not as much a 'good guy', as more a 'comedy sidekick'.
Schwarzenegger's character being unaware of his alter ego's trademark lines; "I'll be back" among others.
The film also points out that you can not get any more unconventional than the real world, as Charles Dance puts it, "In this world, the bad guys can win",
Surprisingly, the content of the film wasn't well received; as I thought that it was one of the funniest films I had seen around that time, but as is the case with most American Blockbusters; High on effects, Low on Plot - High on Sales.
I suppose Last Action Hero tried to be different - And lost!
Craig Aston
THE GOONIES
Dir: Richard Donner. Starring: Sean Astin, Joshua Brodin, Corey Feldman, Robert Davi.
If you’re older than say 25 or younger than 21 then chances are that this title will either make you laugh at me for liking this film or just go “Eh?” But if you fall into the 21-25 age group then you probably, like me, secretly love it.
I can’t quite remember where I first saw The Goonies. I think it was on video but it was definitely with my “gang” of friends. By the end we were “the Goonies”. We’d each decided which character we were and we spent the next few weeks desperately searching for our very own pirate treasure map. We never found one of course and a few months later we would all be going to Secondary School and into adolescence. Girls would become more interesting than treasure maps and computers would take over from “make believe” games. Some of the gang would never see each other again until we were adults.
The Goonies then was our swansong. Before I really get going I best explain the plot for those of you who don’t know it.
A gang of 4 kids, Mikey, Chunk, Data & Mouth, who call themselves the Goonies hear the terrible news that their housing estate has be purchased by an evil corporate suit and that he is planning to bulldoze all of their houses. Unable to face the prospect of their families moving away and the Goonies being split up forever they decide to try to do something about it. Whilst rummaging through Mikey’s parents attic they come across a Pirate’s treasure map. Realising that finding the treasure will mean buying the houses back and staying together they set off determined to find the treasure. But there’s a snag. The entrance to the cavern shown on the map is in the house of a gang of crooks called the Fratelli’s. They manage to enter the tunnel (concealed in the baddies fireplace) and from then on they face a series of increasingly deadly puzzles. All except Chunk. He is caught by the Fratellis and locked up with their deformed brother Sloth. The Fratellis learn of the Goonies intentions and a chase ensues ending on the pirate ship. The Goonies are captured but luckily Sloth and Chunk rescue them and the story ends happily.
When we were young The Goonies was fantastic for the following reasons:-
1) It appeals to every kid’s dream of finding a treasure map and going on an adventure.
2) Everyone can identify or would like to identify with one of the characters. There’s Mikey the weedy hypochondriac one with the adventurous imagination. Chunk the fat kid everyone made fun of but was always a part of your gang. Data the brainy inventing one and Mouth the err… mouthy one. If you were older there was Mikey's older brother Brandon and if you were a girl then there were the two girls (I forget their names).
3) All kids like to be part of a gang and The Goonies appeals to this.
4) Mikey gets to snog his older brother’s girlfriend (yeah cool… who didn’t want to do that!!)
The Goonies is fantastic for adults because :-
1) All of the above (perhaps I’m sad but all that stuff still appeals to me)
2) It’s one of the only kid’s films where the characters stop for a toilet break.
3) It has a fat kid wobbling his belly for cheap laughs.
4) Of the bit where Chunk describes his life story.
5) It has knob gags!
6) It has a cool muscular guy (Brandon) riding a small girls bike.
7) It pretty quotable (“This is my wish. It didn’t come true, so I’m taking them back. I’m taking them all back.”)
8) Silly gadgets (Pincers of Death, Slick shoes)
9) Cool slapstick humour (Where one Fratelli slips on oil on a log landing on his bits. Later on his wig falls off)
10) It reminds me of my childhood.
11) The pirate is called One Eyed Willy!!!!!!
What more could you want from a couple of hours entertainment. Marvellous.
Paul Monk.
Dir: Brain Yuzna. Starring: Billy Warlock, Devin Devasquez, Evan Richards, Ben Meyerson.
Society was released in 1989 to a largely uninterested public who had grown tired of too many tedious slasher movies. Both the Friday the 13th and Nightmare on Elm Street series were looking very tired, and horror movies simply weren’t attracting crowds. Which is a real shame, as Brian Yuzna’s Society is one of the best horror movies of the eighties, and Yuzna’s career hasn’t taken off like it deserved to.
With a low budget and a cast of nobodies (though Billy Warlock was briefly famous) Yuzna crafted one of the most grotesque, sickening but amusing, horror movies. Not just a simple slasher movie, it had a complex (for a horror) plot, subtext, people who could act in it, and it waited till the end to unleash it’s most horrifying moment.
So what makes this film such a joy? The plot sounds like something out of The X-Files, sure, but it’s more interesting than the usual run of the mill episode of that series. For Society has an appealing tongue in cheek tone to it’s subject matter, never taking itself too seriously, whilst the final scenes must rank as some of the most disgusting in film history. I have friends who still refuse to watch the final ten minutes. Whilst I can’t help laughing throughout them. Well, it’s better than screaming, after all.
And it’s well acted, scripted and directed. What more can you ask from a horror film than that?
Alex Finch.
Dir: Micheal Tuchner. Starring: Mel Smith, Griff Rhys Jones, Alison Steadman, Diana Quick
Wilt is an above average British comedy from the late eighties based on the novel Wilt by Tom Woolf. The film stars Mel Smith and Griff Rhys Jones, a double act who have been together for what seems like centuries. In the eighties they were seen as quite alternative, and their show, Alas Smith and Jones was a huge hit. But they’ve also been responsible for some quite awful films including Morons From Outer Space, and Smith later went on to direct the quite dreadful smash hit Bean – The Movie. So despite being only quite good, Wilt is their best film without doubt.
Doesn’t sound exactly hilarious, does it? Well, it has it’s moments, a fair few great set pieces, and the dialogue’s not bad either. So why do I like this film so much? Well, it’s quite simple. Wilt is (allegedly) based on a true story. When I was in my third year studying English at Anglia Polytechnic University (the only Uni left in the country with the word Polytechnic in it’s title) a rumour emerged that Wilt was at least partially based on the life of my personal tutor, whose name, for legal reasons, I unfortunately cannot reveal. But it rhymes with Wilt. A bit.
Anyway, what is known for sure is that the character fits the man well, a blow up doll is apparently buried within the foundations of the Coslett building, and, Tom Sharpe, who wrote the original novel, did have strong links with the college, before it became a University, in the late seventies. It’s the only claim to fame that my University has. Whether or not the tacky subplot about a serial killer vicar is true I don’t know, as none of us were brave enough to actually ask the lecturer in question. But for this reason alone, Wilt is a film that I’m embarrassed to admit liking an awful lot.
Alex Finch.
Dir: Bill Fishman. Starring: Tim Robbins, John Cusack, Mary Crosby, Doug McClure.
I doubt if many people have ever heard of Tapeheads, as it flopped on it’s release, and took me ages to track down on video, but as late eighties comedies go, it’s pretty damn good. Okay, it’s a little bit ludicrous, but then most of the best comedies are, after all.
The plot’s pretty simple – Robbins (Josh) and Cusack (Ivan) are two down on their luck security guards who’d much rather be making music video promotions. After being fired they decide to set up their own company, Video Aces, and, pretty quickly, and rather by accident than skill, they become a success. But this isn’t another ‘perils of fame’ comedy, oh no, because the two chums get caught up in a ‘wacky plot’ concerning a presidential candidate being blackmailed by a prostitute. Cue ridiculous shoot out and chase scenes, and a rather obvious ending that’s signposted a mile off. Add to this bizarre mix Cusack and Robbins’ obsession with a failed soul band, the Funky Moes, and cameo’s by Weird Al Yankovich, Fish, Ted Nugent and Doug McClure, and you’ve got a truly odd, but very funny movie.
Tapehead’s a little (but only a little) more intelligent than the average comedy too, and is a pretty accurate record of 80’s obsessions such as Greed, money, fast food, bad European music, videoing everything including wills and funerals, and a collection of incredibly bad haircuts too.
So yeah, I’m a little embarrassed to admit liking this film so much, but, it’s the only proper on-screen pairing of real life friends Robbins and Cusack (The Player, Bob Roberts and High Fidelity not really counting), it’s well directed, packed with loads of throw away gags, and, all in all, is a pretty fine way to waste an hour and a half or so. Plus any film which informs the viewer, over the ending credits, that the two leads get sent to jail for outstanding traffic warrants, deserves a place in your heart.
Alex Finch.
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